The duchess of Sussex, famously known as Meghan Markle recently released a documentary alongside her royal husband, Prince Harry. In this documentary, Markle confessed to all the pressures that she now faces since marrying into aristocracy. In a now viral interview, the beautiful Meghan solicits our sympathies with soft doleful eyes and despondent expressions. She describes the vulnerability of becoming a new mother and the mean press failing to ask her if she was “okay”. I was taken in by her agony especially when I realized something: Meghan Markle just wants a cookie. Her expression was eerily similar to that of a naughty child who looks remorseful when snack time is announced.
Sometimes our words are just a cover for our innermost cookie cravings. This is why this article will suggest the cookies that will ease Meghan’s burdensome ailments. (And they will be cookies fit for a duchess!)
When you want privacy
Meghan Markle grew up in Hollywood but has strangely forgotten that there is little to no privacy for the rich and famous. Before her wedding, she casually brushed aside the UK tabloids because apparently the press is not as relentless in America. Clearly, Meghan needs a break. When you need a break from pesky photographers, what you need is a Lotus Biscoff biscuit. These European cookies are designed to help you enter your inner safe space. The unique caramelized and crunchy goodness melts away outside triggers, and provides the escape you deserve. Dunked into hot chocolate or coffee, the biscuit transforms into syrupy perfection.
>READ ALSO : “Millennial cookie match” featuring Lotus biscuits
When it hurts
“There is a lot of stuff that ‘hurts’, moans Prince Harry in reference to the intense scrutiny from the media. Dear Duke and Duchess, when stuff hurts, there is nothing more soothing than a dark chocolate cookie with an irresistible caramel center. First, dark chocolate is a powerful antioxidant and mood enhancer . Caramel is also renowned for its hedonistic escalation. Believe me, it’s like a deep tissue massage for your tongue, and a caress for your throat, and it only gets better with each bite. This sexy dark chocolate and caramel combination is sure to melt away the hurts of being in the papers my dears.
When you want to be noticed -Meghan Markle lamented that not many people asked if she was “okay” after the birth of her son Archie. Well you don’t say! Not even Prince Charles? nor the Queen? not the doctors? not your mom with whom you are close to? your husband? the in-laws? your stylist? your servants? the carousel of nannies? your adoring audience who screech for an autograph as you walk down streets? Oh wait, you want MORE attention Duchess?? more media people to care???
When you want more attention and the press to pump you up with platitudes, you actually just want a GIANT SKILLET COOKIE. Skillet cookies are such powerful crowd pleasers, that after you make one, people will immediately curtsy. Skillet cookies have fast become popular not just due to the mammoth size, but also because of the appeal of creating something so darn delicious from simple ingredients. For skillet cookies, bigger is better. Make your skillet cookie with crispy edges, and a fluffy interior that oozes with chocolate! (It is SO scrumptious served warm!)
>SEE ALSO easy as heck 2 ingredient skillet cookie recipe here
When you hate surprises
Meghan apparently did not know what she was getting into when she married into the highest profiled family in England. She expressed genuine dismay at the unceasing stalking of the paparazzi and the sensational tabloids. Some of us hate surprises too. We want something to be good the first time around. Thankfully, these shortbread cookies pack no surprises. The ingredients and instructions are so simple that you can make them half asleep, and they will STILL turn out fantastic. (No surprises!)
When you are trying to fit in or relate, (but you really don’t)
Former actress and now duchess Meghan Markle travelled to war torn South Africa and proclaimed to the adoring crowd that she is their ‘sister’. She was educated in private schools from the age of 2, visited movie sets at will, had her own fashion collection (that sold out), had a successful blog, and was nominated as a fashion icon. This is just a short list of her many privileges and accomplishments. Despite this, she is still a “sister” of South African women, many of which fight daily just to survive. (I was so touched). When you stick out like a sore thumb but you still attempt to fit in, the cookie you need is a plain sugar cookie. This is a cookie that everybody eats but no one admits it as a favorite because there are a million other cookies that are infinitely better. I side eye everyone who lists sugar cookies as their “favorite”, just as people now side eye the duchess.
When you want to really live
In the dramatic setting of a severely divided country, Meghan Markle audaciously confesses that she’s merely “existing” and not living, bemoaning her miserable life as a duchess due to the mean and discourteous press. Even after meeting her “H” (her nickname for Harry), and realizing her fairy-tale romance, Madame La Duchess needs a Whoopie pie to begin her life anew.
You haven’t really lived until you’ve eaten a Whoopie pie. Whoopie pies will open your eyes to worlds of possibilities just by their construction. A tantilizing cream generously spread between 2 softer- than-pillows cookies brings the dawn of adventure! Whoopie pies are also very fun to make, and everybody knows that you don’t start living until you start having fun.
>SEE ALSO how to impress your date with cookies featuring whoopie pies!
Prince Harry affirmed that despite it all, him and the Duchess will continue to bravely press on. I hope that they overcome with delicious cookies as they whisk away to another exotic location in their private jet.
Which cookie is ideal for the duchess?