Stuff about Bakers no one talks about

The tables of baked goods is something that many look forward to during the holidays. The smell of fresh cinnamon rolls can almost make you forget your troubles. Holiday baking brings out the best and the worst in bakers. But people are often too busy munching on delicious treats that they barely notice the latter.

But I don’t ignore the weird stuff.

During the holidays, I tend to observe more than I eat. Over the years, I noticed that bakers do stuff that no one really talks about. Infact, sometimes people pretend that these things don’t happen, and are instead comfortable with assuming the risks. Here is a list of the five things bakers do that more of us should be paying attention to.

But first:

1.Bakers sometimes do it all

Bakers are creative people who take initiative, but sometimes this leads to them doing the most. Bakers will setup tables, decorate, prepare the turkey, and fold pretty napkins for the party. Either they don’t like to delegate, or their group of friends are not reliable enough to help. Unfortunately when a person does it “all” the quality of “all” can be threatened. (e.g Cynthia, a new mom did it all at a party she hosted. She basked in the accolades for her efforts, but when I tasted her stir fry noodles, they were sour and spoiled).

2.Bakers skip hygiene after the first wash

Liz Fields has a busy afternoon of baking ahead. She is baking four types of icebox cookies. Liz checks again to make sure she has all the ingredients. She washes her hands thoroughly, and begins preparing the dough. As she rolls out the dough, her golden hair loosens to a heap on her shoulders. Irritated, Liz picks up the scrunchie from the floor, and ties her hair back into a firm ponytail. With a triumphant sniff, Liz begins to make star shapes out of the dough. As she presses out the fourth star, she hears the doorbell. Great, her Amazon package arrived! Liz opens the door, and eagerly signs for her package. She tears it open and examines the items closely. It is exactly what she wanted. Before returning back to the dough, Liz stops to text her friend Betsy with floury hands.

2 hours later, Liz collapses on her couch exhausted and relieved. The cookies are now done, and she even managed to sweep, take out the trash, and load the washer in between. Now that you have read this story, is there anything wrong with the way Liz handled her baking ? (hint: it started after the scrunchie.)

3. Bakers lick their fingers and touch the cookies

Licking fingers and then touching food prepared for others is a huge FAUX PAS, but bakers do it anyway. Sometimes it is not intentional and occurs due to habit. Another reason is that they have never been called out on it before. This is why I now make a high pitched sound to startle the person I see licking their fingers.

Lick your fingers if the food is strictly for you

4. Bakers let their kids prod

Kids are curious creatures. They want to touch, taste, and smell everything in sight. As a child I remember reaching for grilled chicken and my mother giving me a painful surprise. That was the day I learned not to touch things that did not belong to me. Sometimes guardians neglect to remind children to keep their hands to themselves. Some even think its cute that the children are touching everything. Baking with children is a fun activity, but the fun ends when children experiment with the cookies intended for guests.

5. Bakers sometimes serve leftovers

There is a courtesy in my culture that frowns on offering people leftovers. Anything you ate from and decided that you no longer want is not appropriate to offer to friends or colleagues. (My mom would rain thunder on me if I ever did that.) Unfortunately, some people do not share this cultural wisdom. Bakers can experiment with a new recipe, and get bored with it. The next day, it will be sitting in the office lunch room with a suspicious note inviting you to try it.

Do you have more weird stuff about bakers to share? let me know in the comments or tweet it @_cookiesarelife

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